Starting Somewhere

Our youngest, Hitch, enjoys his first snowfall.

Sitting across from my department head and Human Resources Manager, I felt as if all of the air had been sucked from my lungs. It was one week before my twenty-sixth birthday, two weeks before Christmas, and three months shy of my second anniversary at my first corporate job--I job that I loved and was excelling at. I was told my position was being eliminated. There weren't any opportunities for relocation. My last day would be Friday.

I didn't comprehend much of what was said, but I composed myself as best I could and accepted the black folder as it was slid across the conference table. I asked if I could take the rest of the afternoon off. I needed to go over things with Brad, my fiancé, fellow homeowner, and the cool/calm/collected one. I called him as I left the parking lot and by the time I arrived at his office, he was armed with a new budget, unemployment paperwork, and plenty of Kleenex.

I returned to the office the next day and handed out the Holiday gifts I had been working on--hand painted mustache mugs that I thought would bring a little levity to the most stressful project meeting. I stuffed bags of cookies inside them and left them at every one's desks, packed my things in a cardboard box, turned in my badge, and drove home.

Phew. So there's the elephant in the room. The hulking smelly beast that I simply couldn't avoid mentioning as the reason for my new found free time, the reason why several pieces of furniture in the house are now sporting a coat of paint (despite Brad's initial piece de resistance), why our plans of marriage and parenthood are now on hold and why I started sewing scarves.

Every romantic comedy I've ever seen paints life's endeavors as purposeful dives into the deep end, wanted changes of pace heroines embark on with the support of their family and friends. They happen in light bulb moments of inspiration and joy. In life, you hope big changes happen that way, but sometimes they emerge out of disappointment. Sometimes things don't go as planned and you have to develop a plan C while mourning the loss of a beloved friend. You have to start somewhere.